ive been away from the blog a few days now. well it was due to work and some family commitment.
well, it seems that my husband is having so much fun and don’t give a rats behind about nothing. meanwhile im here literally dying inside. (why is it that love can be the most painful disease in the world). hmmmmm. anyways, i don’t want people to know what’s going on, i tend to put uf the persona like im happy.
went to church on sunday (Easter Sunday) and the pastor was preaching about people that are living a lie. he said that some people are carrying so much inside their heart and it makes them so unhappy. its like he was talking to me. everything he was saying was how my life sums up. i sometimes want to talk to people, open up and explain exactly what is going on from within. i think if i do, i will cry never ending.
Anyways, so i asked my husband why he doesn’t love me? he said because of my ego. to me im thinking does he even know the meaning of ego?
So i finally decided to open a blog. Its 4;13 am trying to study for exams. The main reason for opening the blog is i have a lot on ky mind that i cant really share with people without them judging me, i cant write it on Facebook because people will think i’m putting my business on social media, so i turn to blogging where i can hide behind my computer and write my thoughts and feelings. Its hard u know, but its life. I have so much to share and talk about. This blog is basically abou9t my Life Love, Relationship, Marriage and so on. Mostly is been in an unloved Marriage/Relationship WELCOME TO MY BLOG
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so its 8:57pm. had about four hours of sleep. well my wedding anniversary is coming soon. i really don’t know what to feel, I’m kinda numb. i guess i’m so used to be in this unloved relationship that i really don’t know what it feels like to be loved. Yeah its easier for people to say you can come out of it. But personally what scares me the most is starting another relationship again. To me it’s like i’m too old to get into the dating scene. Well i’m always indoors, so how can i possibly meet someone. i kinda seek comfort in Makeup.
Well yesterday during the day, i messaged my husbands best friend to explain things to him. He said he will try to solve it. To me i just want to get up and file for a divorce, but what scares me again is what people will say. My Husband is sending all these subliminal messages on Facebook, and I’m laughing coz to me he’s like a little child.
Haven’t spoken to him for 3 days now. Even though its painful coz I love him, I’m kind of immune to that now.
well, I will survive.
Till later than XoXo Cleopatra